Romanticizing, Ridiculing & Avoiding

The present moment contains in it both the energy of the past and the future

Although our minds have an almost compulsive need to drive in reverse or screech forward, disciplining ourselves to stay fully focused in the here and now is where power and peace reside.

A simple concept and one that has become quite the buzz, staying totally present and engaged in the present moment at all times is arguably the biggest challenge we face in a day.

It is all too tempting to journey down memory lane, to analyze every detail of yesterday, or to fantasize about the dreams of tomorrow. 

These mental trips take us out of the reality of here and now.  This thinking can become something of a trance, taking you on a “trip” and causing you to agonize over, or exaggerate the greatness of, that which is being considered.   We generally either remember it to be worse or think it up to be better than it really is or will be. 

Distorting Mind-Play:  The Tendency to Romanticize or Ridicule              

Looking backwards is a slippery slope.  It is tempting to remember the good ol’ days, to analyze what we believe to be a personal historical mistake in order to glean wisdom from our error, or to think about what is yet to be. 

Our perspectives however are colored by many things.  Thoughts that come up are rarely neutral.  Mental meandering is generally either romanticized or ridiculed, creating guilt and shame, or unrealistic expectations which may never be obtained

Often the tiny real life details of the moment that led up to the experience that is under review are forgotten.  These are the nitty-gritty details that the mind likes to gloss over. 

Likewise, the real-life occurrences that will culminate to make up the future is unaccounted for when we dream about being somewhere in the future other than here and now.  The ivory-tower thinking changes dramatically when grounded by practical experience.

Backwards, forward, and sideways–the mind will analyze, distort, and drain out all magic from these experiences–turning them into a mangled mess.  

The Ego’s Positive & Negative Delusions

Perfect examples of this can be seen in common triggers for people.

Often rather than finding their own passion and creating a life all their own, many girls dream of the future day that a perfect man will come rescue her from the average life she now lives.  In this future fueled fantasy she will live a picture perfect life free of struggle and void of all suffering.

Likewise, many people tend to romanticize the past and engage in delusional thinking about prior experiences or relationships.  Prime examples of this are the men and women who remember a previous partner with irrational fondness despite the fact their time with that person was riddled with perpetual negativity and issues.  Yet, when escaping the now moment by traveling down memory lane wearing their rose-tinted lenses, all that is remembered is the glossy-image-of-perfection that this relationship and person supposedly embodied. 

Another mental trap that contains a myriad of blind spots is when parents spend time agonizing on the errors or inadequacies of how they raised their children.  Here, the past is often distorted as there is a strong urge for parents to beat themselves up.  They should have taken little Joe on more bike rides or played dolls more with little Suzie.  The parent however was doing many important things with, or for, Joe or Suzie instead of bike riding and doll playing.

It’s All Here in the Now

The evolution of life ensures that this very moment contains both the lessons of yesterday and the promise of tomorrow.  Both the present and past are contained in a relevant way within the energy of now.  Thus, everything needed to heal and create is right here and right now.  And the next step is only revealed to you when you are fully engaged in the present step.

As they say, this very moment is a gift, which is why it is called the present.

We may cause ourselves much guilt, pain and suffering when we look backwards; and we could set ourselves up for preconceived resentments with unrealistic expectations when we set our future fantasies up in order to escape reality.  Each of these are acts of rejecting the here and now.

Embracing the now, accepting the here, and gently guiding the energy forward with respect for where we have been, and inspiration for what may lie ahead, allows us to bask in the present peace offered in each gifted minute of every blessed day. 

 

 

The Human GPS: Learning to Follow Your Divine Internal Navigation System

GPS devices can give good directions.  We frequently use them in cars today to provide a map which directs us on exactly how to get to our desired destination.   

As human-beings we are well-equipped with an Internal Guidance System that functions in a manner similar to this ever-popular GPS device.  Our Inner Guidance System can help us navigate through life’s storms and winding roads.   

Intuition vs. Internal Navigation System

We all have gut instincts, hunches and internal nudges which we pick up on from time to time.  Yet “intuition” is a kind of knowing something, without knowing how you know. 

Being led by your Internal Human Guidance System is different, and goes beyond this kind of intelligence.  Working with this form of guidance requires attuning to mind-body signals with acute sensitivity and discernment. 

The internal GPS lets you know at the energy and body level, of the slightest misalignment when you are off-track. Likewise, it can also signal to you when you are precisely on point.

Similar to when you are playing a game that involves looking for something that has been hidden, and the person who hid it from you tells you that either you are getting warmer as you near the object or colder as you move away from it—your Inner Guidance tells you when you are in alignment with highest good, and when you are off-track.

Detecting the Signals: Contraction & Expansion

Whether we realize it or not, we are always getting these indicators as we journey on our life path.  And yet, when we find ourselves at forks in the road and things get confusing and intense, we begin seeking guidance from outside of ourselves.  

Learning to tune into the Inner Navigation System allows us to tap into divine guidance as it flows within ourselves (often as a response to prayer or summoning). 

Just as the GPS sits on the dash of your car, the Human Navigation System runs in the physical area of the body between the throat and abdomen (this is where the internal guidance signals are able to be received, felt, and detected).  Here, we have both the energy centers (chakras) and physical centers (anatomy) which will pick up the divine intelligence instantaneously as it flows outward in response to that which is being thought, spoken, or experienced.

The two primary signals/sensations received and felt here are:

-Contraction: feels dense, heavy, tight, paralyzed / indicates stop, stuck, frozen / red light / go no further along this path 

-Expansion: feels light, spacious, inspired / indicates movement, flowing / green light / continue on this path for it is taking you toward your desires and your highest good

There are many sensations that come about from the contraction of energy.  Most of us know the clamping down feeling that comes over us which is usually accompanied by some sort of fear, worry, anxiety or rushing; this is a form of contraction.

When we feel contraction as we are considering a big move, thinking about a relationship, contemplating our current job, or trying to make any significant decision, this is guidance telling us that something about what we are processing is not in alignment and is not leading to our highest good. Adjustments may need to be made.

Further, there are countless sensations that come out of the expansion of energy.  We know the feeling of flow, relief, and peace that moves through us which is accompanied by certainty, well-being, bliss or inspiration.

When we feel expansion as we are weighing our options about a health concern, strategizing on the best approach for meeting our business goals, or pondering whether we should invest our time getting to know someone we just met better—this is our Internal Guidance System indicating that this certain-something is in alignment and leading us closer to, or more toward, the expression of our divine blueprint, personal desires, and highest good.

Tapping Into the Divine Guidance Within

Legitimate messages from our Inner Guidance System are flowing through us all-day, every-day.  Of course it is natural and healthy to connect with others, ask for guidance and seek counsel when we are confused or need to gain some perspective.  However, the time has come to balance that tendency with the heeding of our own inner guidance above that of experts, gurus, horoscopes, teachers, parents, and friends.

As highly sensitive-beings we are currently flooded with these signals from our Human GPS, making us fully equipped to remain connected to our highest path even in the harshest of circumstances if we are willing to take the time and develop the skills to discern the information that is ever flowing through us. These signals are indicators of our alignment or misalignment with the divine in our own lives.

By no means is using our Internal Navigation System easy and effortless, but it is always available to us. As we run about in the dark trying to find our way without an instruction manual, we can always tune into whether we are experiencing contraction (stuck-ness) or expansion (flow) regarding any matter, and adjust accordingly.

You Are One of A Kind—A Look At Personal Value & Self Worth

Today’s culture sends a lot of mixed messages which can easily throw off our views about what makes us a worthwhile person.  In our age of flash, speed, and material abundance sometimes it is easy to get our signals crossed when it comes to our self-worth and personal value. 

We humans are multi-dimensional beings who enjoy many layers of existence, both inside and out, all contributing to the whole of who we are.  However, often when it comes to what we feel our value is, we think about our personal measure of power, success, beauty or wealth.

The way we perceive our own worth as a person has a profound influence on every aspect of our lives.  Limited, inflated or distorted views of self-worth can undermine our efforts to change or create better or different lives, or even lead us to believe we are only good for one reason. Personal crisis can result from believing our value is aligned with a transient trait or temporary state of being.

Take for example these common scenarios:

A man is big and strong and has placed a great deal of his focus in life on the ability to excel by using aggressive force.  A sudden change resulting in an insult to his physical strength such as an injury causes serious issues around his self-worth as he does not know who he is in life without that ability. If I am not a man of great physical strength, then what is my value?

A woman completely consumed with being a mom places all of her focus on mothering her child.  Her good intentions result in her entire identity becoming wrapped up in caring for the child and the nuances of the child’s life.  As the child begins to grow up the mom may begin feeling useless and lose her sense of value because her self-worth is exclusively aligned with the act of being a good mom. If I am not needed as a mother, then what is my value?

A person is very attractive and has primarily identified with simply showing up in the world as a beautiful woman or handsome man using their good-looks to influence and please others.  As time ticks by, any significant changes to their appearance such as weight gain, aging, or physical scarring that mars their face or body can cause drastic issues around what their value is as a person now that they are no longer extraordinary in the area of beauty. If I am not a person of exceptional beauty, then what is my value?

A person has exceled in the area of career and has focused a high amount of their energy on job success at the expense of other areas of their life.  A sudden and unexpected change in business results in them losing their job causing a decrease in their sense of self-worth because they placed their value as an individual primarily with their professional success and being at the top of their field. If I am not a huge success in my business, then what is my value?

A person identifies with being the bread-winner in a relationship and gains their sense of power and personal value from being able to take care of everyone around them financially while using their money as the primary means of contributing.  A change in financial status can cause severe pain and a decline in their sense of self-worth since they perceived so much of their own personal value to be their ability to relate and connect to others through the exchange of money. If I do not have money to support my partner, friends and family, then what is my value?

UNDERSTANDING THE TRUE NATURE OF PERSONAL VALUE

Our individual talents and special traits are important gifts from us to the world. They are part of your whole-ness, and need to be enjoyed and expressed. And being exceptional in certain areas, or spending the bulk of our time on the life-functions that we most enjoy, is a key to our personal contentment.

Making value judgments based solely on these externalized roles or things however can cause us to be distracted, incomplete or shallow in our thinking. Often times when I have clients who are struggeling with a big transition, they are having a crisis related to their value; an area of their life that they interpreted as being an expression of their value is changing or expiring. When a part of ourselves we most identify with drasticly changes it will often leave us disoriented and confused about what we have lost and who we are in the world without it.

Although on an intellectual level we know as people that how much money we have, how many miles we run a day, how pretty we are, or how excessively detailed we are as a parent, are not true measures of self-worth–it does not stop us from leaning on these strengths and feeling that these dazzling attributes make up our value.

Mistaking abilities, looks, behaviors or material wealth as an expression of our value is like treasuring the outside box of a gift more than the true treasure inside.

ONE OF A KIND

I have witnessed great shifts in thinking when a client begins feeling into their greater-value as a being. This value far exceeds what we are good at in life, and is contained within our essence.  Essence is the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something.

Your essence is of great worth, and is always present, even when you are having a bad day or lose everything you thought to be prescious in the world.  You are a totally unique individual–one of a kind–and your energetic imprint is so rare that it is not shared by anyone else on the planet. Those external expressions we so highly value are merely a bit of icing on our gourmet cake.

Exploring this idea, and centering ourselves in the knowing that can and will eventually emerge from it, can be a great awakening of sorts. The liberation that can come from a personal practice that combines transcending the small ideas about our value with stretching to develop ourselves in well rounded ways as a human being (even if we consider ourselves to be “all-grown-up”) can create enhanced balance and well-being. Because even if you like being the bread-winner or the mom-of-the-year, you are still more than that.

The journey for playing with this idea can begin by:

–> Honoring the concept that you have an Essence that makes you YOU
–> Exploring parts of yourself that you have never considered a possibility
–> Considering what the flip side of your “weaknesses” are
–> Reactivating dormant aspects of yourself that you have left behind or neglected

Regardless of how we go about it, aligning with this deeper aspect of ourselves will keep us grounded in a vast sense of Self that is unchanging. When the kids go off to college, it is time to retire, or the wrinkles start to appear—we can feel rooted in the essence of who we are and continue to outwardly express and enjoy all our many dimensions.

The Uber Importance of Feeling Good

Many would say that our culture has become too concerned with “feelings”.  And that, this concern has caused an over-sensitive generation of ego-centric folks to be obsessed with how things make them feel, (and unwilling to do the things that make them feel bad even if they are a necessity).

Maybe there is some imbalance in this area.  After all, the pendulum had to swing fiercely to leave the long grueling years of “grin and bear it” in order to get to a place where a vision of life that does not involve long-suffering was a possibility.

As a result, most of us who now concern ourselves with feelings had to overcome a belief system that causes us to be concerned after a period of too much good-feeling.  We assume that things aren’t allowed to be that good for too long.  We begin looking for the reasons we should stop feeling good, as if feeling bad a certain amount of the time is some duty we have.

We all have these notions about feelings, and good feelings.  These fears and beliefs have been instilled in us one way or another.

But let’s take a minute to consider the fusion of feelings and physics.  Inertia, entropy and momentum are laws of physics and properties of matter.  If we live on earth we are to some degree influenced by them.

Essentially this would mean that in terms of inertia if we are moving in the direction of things that don’t feel good, we will continue in that direction until influenced by an outside force otherwise.

Entropy says that, left to themselves things tend to go from bad to worse.  So using our will to move towards that which feels better would seem to be a wise choice.

Ah, feelings can be wise.

And yet, we live in a world that often scoffs at paying too much attention to feeling.  After all, feelings are whimsical and they can’t be trusted.

Hard-core people who like to compete and win will say that aiming for good feelings is airy-fairy.  After all who has time to choose the better feeling thought and move towards the better feeling thing, when one is concerned with dominating , controlling, and forcing.

I recently read an excerpt from a book written by Dr. Christiane Northrup in which she said that her father always told her that feelings were facts and to pay attention to them.  My wise father has always said that we cannot change our feelings, but we can change the way we respond to them.

And I say that the way we can respond to our feelings is by paying more attention to them and not less; to give them the respect they deserve, and to let them influence the choices we make, and those things for which we aim.

Pick a thought that feels better, take an action that feels better, move toward the goal that once reached will make you feel better–because a better feeling reality is a better reality, yes?

Changing our approach to our life and giving our feelings the credibility they deserve seems to be an evolution for culture.  Our minds are useful, and they can get us far.  But our feelings, yes… they may get us farther.  Our feelings connect us with the unseen, that which is not known, but can be felt.

Rather than suppressing feelings or repressing feelings or ignoring feelings, what if we sat them on the throne and let them lead?  What about a world full of better feeling people?

Suddenly feelings become a state of existence, and a state of existence is a reality.

The Magic of Mirroring

One of the things that I have found to be most fascinating in my journey of awareness is the phenomenon of mirroring. The realization that everyone around me is showing or telling me something about myself is truly an extraordinary thought.

It is a psychological truth that we often see in others that which we do not like in ourselves.  Since the law of attraction governs our Universe, like attracts like.  In this way life acts as a mirror for what is going on inside of us.

Often times the Universe sends people that cast a signal to us that answers one of our most pressing questions or helps us to heal our most important issues.  Like a looking glass, the person reflects an image back to us that shows us something we need to see.

Mirroring can be positive or negative; each of these offers a reflection of your truth.

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly 

When we see the positive in others and think about how we wish that we were more like that, we are experiencing positive mirroring.  People in our life whom we admire reflect our positive aspects that we may not recognize or acknowledge in ourselves.  The very fact that we notice and are able to see that attribute signifies that we contain that greatness somewhere in us.

Mirroring however may be most impressive, and challenging, when it happens in less appealing ways.

Working with the public as a holistic health counselor, I have become aware of the magic of mirroring on many occasions through direct experience.

Sending a client my way that mirrors what I need to see in myself, the Universe frequently gives me highly important guidance (for me) during sessions with clients.  Through them I am shown with precision that next thing I need to address, or that critical thing that I have been neglecting to do.

Often clients just won’t follow through on a particular recommendation regardless of how important or key it is to solving their most pressing concern.   In these moments, I have learned to move into neutral awareness and look for the connection.

Usually, this area is somehow related to me; what I am not doing, or not following through on, myself.  The Universe sends a magnetic-twin along to show me the answer that I have been seeking.

Try as I might—seeking the key to a pesky health concern or looking for the cause of a personal life imbalance—without that client and their challenge or question, I have not yet been successful in identifying that particular pattern or need in myself.

When I take the gift of this guidance shown to me by the human-mirror and make the change, I solve a significant problem.  Once I begin taking that supplement, removing that toxin, eating that food, working on that part of my personality, or paying attention to that certain relationship dynamic in my life—my own issue begins to heal.

By paying close attention to the many instances of mirroring in my life, my eyes have been opened to some core patterns.  I was intrigued to find that mirroring was not limited to my professional work, but also showed up in my personal relationships.

A Three Way Mirror

A mirroring pattern between three people has been the most transformative form of mirroring I have witnessed.  When it shows itself in divine perfection, life-long patterns can be resolved that spawn out in many directions.

Peering into the mirrors that the Universe brings into our lives and owning what is being shown can often take real strength…especially when that which is being shown is unflattering.

A revealing moment shown to you in an interaction with another casts a clear reflection.  Somewhere lurking in the shadows of your own being lies that most bothersome, painful and unacceptable trait or aspect that you have repeatedly disliked or been victim of by another.  This is when you finally see that the way you are being treated is also the way you unknowingly have treated someone else; or that the negative aspect you have looked harshly upon in another also lives in you.

It is important to emphasize that this is an unexpected trait or pattern that has long been hidden in you–and something that you would deny or reject.  You will know when you are on to it, because when faced with it in the mirror you can no longer deny it, and it makes you feel defensive, nauseous or emotionally disturbed.

For me, boundaries have always been a real challenge.  I assumed that I was very respectful of all boundaries since people steam-rolled right through mine so often.  However, understanding that this behavior is especially bothersome to me, I knew I needed to look for it within in order to pinpoint the root.

After a lifetime of problems maintaining my own personal boundaries, I had a mirroring-moment where I realized that a family-member who regularly exhibited boundary-busting behaviors that hurt me, was also showing me a deeply hidden disrespect for the boundaries of others within me.

I was stunned to see such a reflection.  It was difficult to see that I was guilty of something that I found so offensive.  After doing some deep inner work and taking responsibility for this issue, I was able to accept that I indeed treated others in this same way on occasion.

Able to view this pattern in three different ways (family member/myself/ friends) I could finally see the perplexing pattern clearly.  Once I was able to see it in this way, I could work to forgive it in another, and then learn to turn that same compassion inward, and also forgive myself.

What You See Is What You Are

Due to the law of attraction and the magic of mirroring it is possible that the types of behavior that we regularly see and don’t like in others are aspects deeply hidden within ourselves.

With constant self-examination, self-honesty, and a willingness to step outside of ourselves regularly, we can use this information to help see ourselves more objectively and to bring to the surface obvious or repressed issues that we have previously buried.

Recognizing the lessons that these situations and individuals are mirroring gives us the precious opportunity to become conscious of our hidden beliefs, feelings, imbalanced behaviors, or shadow personality traits so that we can experience less suffering and conflict.

When we grow in our ability to handle what can often be the difficult reflections shown to us through the phenomenon of mirroring, it becomes our own powerful and secret formula for becoming whole.

The questions, unknowns, and things that we cannot quite figure out on our own are able to be solved by images revealed to us through our connections with others.

Thought-Flipping: A Guide for Taking Charge of Your Mind-Stuff

No matter where we are on our personal growth journey, there is always room for improvement when it comes to disciplining our mind.  The mind-work is never done.

It is estimated that people talk to themselves–either subconsciously or out-loud–at the rate of approximately 50 to 300 words per minute.  Research says that on average we have 65,000 thoughts each day, and that 95% of those thoughts are reoccurring.  Much of this is self-talk or inwardly directed chatter.

Although it may go unnoticed, each thought creates a physical response.  The thoughts being had create emotions and automatic responses in the body which significantly affect our physical health and mental well-being.  Whether we are feeling happy or upset will be dependent on what thoughts we are thinking.  And effects such as accelerated heart rate and changes in blood pressure can be measured as we think certain thoughts.

Essentially our mind is constantly running, thinking repetitive thoughts (the same thoughts that we had yesterday, and the day before that) and our body and emotions are strongly triggered by them.  Clearly, this makes how we think and what we think extremely important.

Mental Cramps

Years ago my personal journey was triggered by symptoms in my body which my first teacher quickly helped me trace with precision, right to my mind.

At first I was so identified with my thoughts that I could not really see them.  My thoughts seemed to be me, and I didn’t feel like I had any power over them.  I had been living a life at the mercy of my undisciplined mind, without even realizing it.

I spent many years focused on taming my wild and rebellious mind.  And in the process I learned that being my own mental-manager was absolutely essential to co-creating a desirable reality.

When I become preoccupied with life, however, I can temporarily lose consciousness in this area for days at a time.  Sometimes I snap-to only to find myself in the midst of racing thoughts, obsessive mental patterns and irrational fears.

For the past few months while navigating a great deal of transition and some very new terrain, I found that I had indeed slipped into a jaded state of mind.  Spinning wildly on the wheel of randomized ideas and unruly self-talk, my mind was in a state of negative looping.

As I began my mental-monitoring, I saw that I was continually framing neutral or potentially amazing things in unnecessarily negative ways.  I had allowed myself to become over-tired, un-centered, and in a state of overwhelm–and as a result, disorderly thought systems were taking root in my un-tended mind.

Negative thoughts grow like weeds.  Left unmanaged, wild and obsessive sprouts can begin to take hold in the soil of the mind.  I knew that I had to get the pruning shears out—and fast.  I immediately dusted off the most powerful mind-tool in my holistic box and began tending to my precious mental garden.

The Thought-Flipping Process

Thought flipping is an advanced form of mind monitoring and management.  This practice accepts that our thoughts are powerful and we can choose them.  Then it wastes no time.

As soon as negative thought-patterns are identified, a silent alarm sounds.  The observer of the thought then steps in with absolute authority and re-programs the mind by flipping the thought on its head, and thinking the exact opposite.

Once a pattern of strong pessimism about a particular aspect of life is identified for example, the observer flips it in that moment, and chooses optimism.   It is the art of taking back the powerful domain of the mind without wasting time giving the weed-thought any consideration or valuable energy.

At first the mind will rebel in defense of the negative thought by alerting the observer of how the flipped thought is ridiculous and could not possibly be true.  With thought-flipping, however, the observer’s immediate response back to the mind is direct and commanding.  The mind is reminded that it’s former thought was, at the very least, as lousy and untrue as the new, flipped one—and as it’s conscious and intelligent Master the observer chooses what is true.

Rewriting Your Mental Script

It is human nature to think negatively about others or ourselves from time to time.  However, unchecked and frequent negative brain chatter can leave us feeling out of control.  A train of thought that is directed towards yourself which undermines you or what you are trying to accomplish, is negative-thinking.   Such spiraling thoughts are the most effective way to self-sabotage.

Take these ideas, for example:

Every day at work you think:  “I am so stressed out because I don’t work as fast as the others at my job, which makes me feel like I am less than those around me, and that at some point I am going to be fired.”  This thought can be healed by changing it to:  “I appreciate that I take my time doing my job according to my own rhythm which allows me to express my unique genius, and my boss should value that attribute in me, because in the end I always deliver big.”

When you turn it around, you realize that either thought can be true.  It is always possible, and even likely, that the negative version which you are obsessively perpetuating is incorrect.

Often times our thoughts don’t even make sense.  Take this common pattern for example:  “I missed an entire week of yoga, so I might as well skip today too and give up the whole idea of exercise completely, because I have no self-discipline.”  Flipping this thought changes it to be more healthy and accurate:  “I honored my feelings and took a needed break from yoga last week, so I am going to take an intense yoga class today because I am truly committed to the idea of feeling good in mind and body.”

A way to transform a thought is to change the wording.  Your thoughts can be wrong, and you can re-write them.  Which one do you want to be true?  You get to choose.

Taking Charge of Your Mind-Stuff

Once you’ve identified a serial negative thought that continues popping into your mind making you feel fearful, sad, uncomfortable, depressed, or hopeless, try the following thought-flipping ritual:

=> Write the thought down on paper and take a good look at it

=> Do you know this thought is true?

=> Does this thought serve you?

=> Write down the opposing thought which counters the negative thought

=> Change the wording of the thought in a way that heals it

=> Every time you find yourself thinking the original habitual thought pattern, catch yourself, and continuously replace it with the new flipped thought

This technique is a process of offering the antidote for the problematic thinking pattern each time it appears.  By flipping the thought, it is cured.  You are healing your mind-stuff thought by thought, thus co-creating a reality with deliberate intent.

How Will Your Garden Grow?

Acknowledging that we can choose our thoughts is taking back a great deal of power.   Becoming aware of our thoughts allows us to look at them.  When we look at them, we are removed from them; there is space between us and the thought.

When there is space between us and our thoughts, we identify with them less.  When we identify with our thoughts less, we can decide if a thought is true, whether a thought serves us, and if there is a better thought that is more aligned with our true nature and highest desires.

And then we can determine what our mind will be filled with 65,000 times a day.

Our world is made from mind-stuff.  Taking the step of conscious co-creation by monitoring our mind, weeding our mental garden, and planting good thought-seeds, will ensure that we like what blooms.

From Hero to Zero–Transcending Dualistic Self-Worth Syndrome

Lately I have been thinking about the topic of self-worth.  The question that comes up for me is—am I worthy and able to do this work in the world even though I am flawed?

Self-sabotaging thoughts fly to the surface, ready to convince me that I need to be completely healed, totally satisfied with my physical image, and living a one-hundred-percent sustainable and natural life myself in order to be justified in helping others work toward the same.

But are these really the things that make up my value as a person, professional, healer, holistic educator and health coach?

How May I Serve?

Many things influence my perspective of how I am doing in the realms of health, wellness, appearance and lifestyle.  My perception constantly fluctuates based on the day I am having, the way I am eating, how I am treating my body, the people I am hanging around with or how I am spending my precious time.

If I am working my tools—doing yoga, eating clean, practicing extreme self-care, getting my recycling out of the door, and surrounding myself with a community of like-minded people who appreciate and remind me of my gifts—I feel healthy, inspired, connected, and worthy of helping another claim these things for themselves.

On the contrary, during the course of a bad day when the very basics of daily life are a real challenge—I feel unworthy.  My mind, filled with images of modern-day-twenty-first-century delusions of perfection, tells me that I am not enough and that I cannot possibly function in the world as an effective guide for others.

Is this true?  Or is this what happens when I am ungrounded, allowing my thoughts and feelings to bounce me around from moment to moment and day to day?

Dualistic Self-Worth Syndrome

Maybe you suffer from dualistic self-worth syndrome too?  Fluctuating between an inflated sense of self and a deflated sense of self based on the circumstances of your life.  Are you good enough if you are making it to the gym every day and dropping digits on the scale, and not enough if you ate carbs yesterday?

Due to the overwhelming pressure on all of us to be “perfect” today—nearly everyone experiences this to some degree or another.  Keeping in mind these three things, however, really helps me keep things in perspective:

=> There is no greater illusion than the ideal of Perfection promoted within our society.

=> Our essence (the real value of our being) is unchanged by such impermanent circumstances and comes from a deeper place.

=> This unique-Being-ness is our offering to each other and the world.

Sifting through the Madness

If I allowed myself to be dictated to by this modern-day-ego-illness then I wouldn’t get much done in the world or experience the joy of serving.  It would mean that one day I am an inspired, highly trained practitioner who understands the self-healing process from the inside-out, and the next day I am too flawed to engage another on topics related to wellness.  This is mental-madness.

Transcending the Ego’s Negative Self-Talk

When I become aware that I am being jerked around by the highs and lows of life and begin to self-sabotage by identifying with the low vibrational thoughts and beliefs that tell me that I am not enough, I stop and remind myself:  I am not my thoughts and my thoughts are not me.  My mental whims do not dictate who I am or what I am capable of doing.  I am unmoved by these things.

So, how does Dualistic Self-Worth Syndrome show up in your world?

This week when you notice that one minute you are a hero and the next minute you are at zero, stop and remind yourself—that you are neither.  You are more.