Romanticizing, Ridiculing & Avoiding

The present moment contains in it both the energy of the past and the future

Although our minds have an almost compulsive need to drive in reverse or screech forward, disciplining ourselves to stay fully focused in the here and now is where power and peace reside.

A simple concept and one that has become quite the buzz, staying totally present and engaged in the present moment at all times is arguably the biggest challenge we face in a day.

It is all too tempting to journey down memory lane, to analyze every detail of yesterday, or to fantasize about the dreams of tomorrow. 

These mental trips take us out of the reality of here and now.  This thinking can become something of a trance, taking you on a “trip” and causing you to agonize over, or exaggerate the greatness of, that which is being considered.   We generally either remember it to be worse or think it up to be better than it really is or will be. 

Distorting Mind-Play:  The Tendency to Romanticize or Ridicule              

Looking backwards is a slippery slope.  It is tempting to remember the good ol’ days, to analyze what we believe to be a personal historical mistake in order to glean wisdom from our error, or to think about what is yet to be. 

Our perspectives however are colored by many things.  Thoughts that come up are rarely neutral.  Mental meandering is generally either romanticized or ridiculed, creating guilt and shame, or unrealistic expectations which may never be obtained

Often the tiny real life details of the moment that led up to the experience that is under review are forgotten.  These are the nitty-gritty details that the mind likes to gloss over. 

Likewise, the real-life occurrences that will culminate to make up the future is unaccounted for when we dream about being somewhere in the future other than here and now.  The ivory-tower thinking changes dramatically when grounded by practical experience.

Backwards, forward, and sideways–the mind will analyze, distort, and drain out all magic from these experiences–turning them into a mangled mess.  

The Ego’s Positive & Negative Delusions

Perfect examples of this can be seen in common triggers for people.

Often rather than finding their own passion and creating a life all their own, many girls dream of the future day that a perfect man will come rescue her from the average life she now lives.  In this future fueled fantasy she will live a picture perfect life free of struggle and void of all suffering.

Likewise, many people tend to romanticize the past and engage in delusional thinking about prior experiences or relationships.  Prime examples of this are the men and women who remember a previous partner with irrational fondness despite the fact their time with that person was riddled with perpetual negativity and issues.  Yet, when escaping the now moment by traveling down memory lane wearing their rose-tinted lenses, all that is remembered is the glossy-image-of-perfection that this relationship and person supposedly embodied. 

Another mental trap that contains a myriad of blind spots is when parents spend time agonizing on the errors or inadequacies of how they raised their children.  Here, the past is often distorted as there is a strong urge for parents to beat themselves up.  They should have taken little Joe on more bike rides or played dolls more with little Suzie.  The parent however was doing many important things with, or for, Joe or Suzie instead of bike riding and doll playing.

It’s All Here in the Now

The evolution of life ensures that this very moment contains both the lessons of yesterday and the promise of tomorrow.  Both the present and past are contained in a relevant way within the energy of now.  Thus, everything needed to heal and create is right here and right now.  And the next step is only revealed to you when you are fully engaged in the present step.

As they say, this very moment is a gift, which is why it is called the present.

We may cause ourselves much guilt, pain and suffering when we look backwards; and we could set ourselves up for preconceived resentments with unrealistic expectations when we set our future fantasies up in order to escape reality.  Each of these are acts of rejecting the here and now.

Embracing the now, accepting the here, and gently guiding the energy forward with respect for where we have been, and inspiration for what may lie ahead, allows us to bask in the present peace offered in each gifted minute of every blessed day. 

 

 

Advertisements

The Human GPS: Learning to Follow Your Divine Internal Navigation System

GPS devices can give good directions.  We frequently use them in cars today to provide a map which directs us on exactly how to get to our desired destination.   

As human-beings we are well-equipped with an Internal Guidance System that functions in a manner similar to this ever-popular GPS device.  Our Inner Guidance System can help us navigate through life’s storms and winding roads.   

Intuition vs. Internal Navigation System

We all have gut instincts, hunches and internal nudges which we pick up on from time to time.  Yet “intuition” is a kind of knowing something, without knowing how you know. 

Being led by your Internal Human Guidance System is different, and goes beyond this kind of intelligence.  Working with this form of guidance requires attuning to mind-body signals with acute sensitivity and discernment. 

The internal GPS lets you know at the energy and body level, of the slightest misalignment when you are off-track. Likewise, it can also signal to you when you are precisely on point.

Similar to when you are playing a game that involves looking for something that has been hidden, and the person who hid it from you tells you that either you are getting warmer as you near the object or colder as you move away from it—your Inner Guidance tells you when you are in alignment with highest good, and when you are off-track.

Detecting the Signals: Contraction & Expansion

Whether we realize it or not, we are always getting these indicators as we journey on our life path.  And yet, when we find ourselves at forks in the road and things get confusing and intense, we begin seeking guidance from outside of ourselves.  

Learning to tune into the Inner Navigation System allows us to tap into divine guidance as it flows within ourselves (often as a response to prayer or summoning). 

Just as the GPS sits on the dash of your car, the Human Navigation System runs in the physical area of the body between the throat and abdomen (this is where the internal guidance signals are able to be received, felt, and detected).  Here, we have both the energy centers (chakras) and physical centers (anatomy) which will pick up the divine intelligence instantaneously as it flows outward in response to that which is being thought, spoken, or experienced.

The two primary signals/sensations received and felt here are:

-Contraction: feels dense, heavy, tight, paralyzed / indicates stop, stuck, frozen / red light / go no further along this path 

-Expansion: feels light, spacious, inspired / indicates movement, flowing / green light / continue on this path for it is taking you toward your desires and your highest good

There are many sensations that come about from the contraction of energy.  Most of us know the clamping down feeling that comes over us which is usually accompanied by some sort of fear, worry, anxiety or rushing; this is a form of contraction.

When we feel contraction as we are considering a big move, thinking about a relationship, contemplating our current job, or trying to make any significant decision, this is guidance telling us that something about what we are processing is not in alignment and is not leading to our highest good. Adjustments may need to be made.

Further, there are countless sensations that come out of the expansion of energy.  We know the feeling of flow, relief, and peace that moves through us which is accompanied by certainty, well-being, bliss or inspiration.

When we feel expansion as we are weighing our options about a health concern, strategizing on the best approach for meeting our business goals, or pondering whether we should invest our time getting to know someone we just met better—this is our Internal Guidance System indicating that this certain-something is in alignment and leading us closer to, or more toward, the expression of our divine blueprint, personal desires, and highest good.

Tapping Into the Divine Guidance Within

Legitimate messages from our Inner Guidance System are flowing through us all-day, every-day.  Of course it is natural and healthy to connect with others, ask for guidance and seek counsel when we are confused or need to gain some perspective.  However, the time has come to balance that tendency with the heeding of our own inner guidance above that of experts, gurus, horoscopes, teachers, parents, and friends.

As highly sensitive-beings we are currently flooded with these signals from our Human GPS, making us fully equipped to remain connected to our highest path even in the harshest of circumstances if we are willing to take the time and develop the skills to discern the information that is ever flowing through us. These signals are indicators of our alignment or misalignment with the divine in our own lives.

By no means is using our Internal Navigation System easy and effortless, but it is always available to us. As we run about in the dark trying to find our way without an instruction manual, we can always tune into whether we are experiencing contraction (stuck-ness) or expansion (flow) regarding any matter, and adjust accordingly.

You Are One of A Kind—A Look At Personal Value & Self Worth

Today’s culture sends a lot of mixed messages which can easily throw off our views about what makes us a worthwhile person.  In our age of flash, speed, and material abundance sometimes it is easy to get our signals crossed when it comes to our self-worth and personal value. 

We humans are multi-dimensional beings who enjoy many layers of existence, both inside and out, all contributing to the whole of who we are.  However, often when it comes to what we feel our value is, we think about our personal measure of power, success, beauty or wealth.

The way we perceive our own worth as a person has a profound influence on every aspect of our lives.  Limited, inflated or distorted views of self-worth can undermine our efforts to change or create better or different lives, or even lead us to believe we are only good for one reason. Personal crisis can result from believing our value is aligned with a transient trait or temporary state of being.

Take for example these common scenarios:

A man is big and strong and has placed a great deal of his focus in life on the ability to excel by using aggressive force.  A sudden change resulting in an insult to his physical strength such as an injury causes serious issues around his self-worth as he does not know who he is in life without that ability. If I am not a man of great physical strength, then what is my value?

A woman completely consumed with being a mom places all of her focus on mothering her child.  Her good intentions result in her entire identity becoming wrapped up in caring for the child and the nuances of the child’s life.  As the child begins to grow up the mom may begin feeling useless and lose her sense of value because her self-worth is exclusively aligned with the act of being a good mom. If I am not needed as a mother, then what is my value?

A person is very attractive and has primarily identified with simply showing up in the world as a beautiful woman or handsome man using their good-looks to influence and please others.  As time ticks by, any significant changes to their appearance such as weight gain, aging, or physical scarring that mars their face or body can cause drastic issues around what their value is as a person now that they are no longer extraordinary in the area of beauty. If I am not a person of exceptional beauty, then what is my value?

A person has exceled in the area of career and has focused a high amount of their energy on job success at the expense of other areas of their life.  A sudden and unexpected change in business results in them losing their job causing a decrease in their sense of self-worth because they placed their value as an individual primarily with their professional success and being at the top of their field. If I am not a huge success in my business, then what is my value?

A person identifies with being the bread-winner in a relationship and gains their sense of power and personal value from being able to take care of everyone around them financially while using their money as the primary means of contributing.  A change in financial status can cause severe pain and a decline in their sense of self-worth since they perceived so much of their own personal value to be their ability to relate and connect to others through the exchange of money. If I do not have money to support my partner, friends and family, then what is my value?

UNDERSTANDING THE TRUE NATURE OF PERSONAL VALUE

Our individual talents and special traits are important gifts from us to the world. They are part of your whole-ness, and need to be enjoyed and expressed. And being exceptional in certain areas, or spending the bulk of our time on the life-functions that we most enjoy, is a key to our personal contentment.

Making value judgments based solely on these externalized roles or things however can cause us to be distracted, incomplete or shallow in our thinking. Often times when I have clients who are struggeling with a big transition, they are having a crisis related to their value; an area of their life that they interpreted as being an expression of their value is changing or expiring. When a part of ourselves we most identify with drasticly changes it will often leave us disoriented and confused about what we have lost and who we are in the world without it.

Although on an intellectual level we know as people that how much money we have, how many miles we run a day, how pretty we are, or how excessively detailed we are as a parent, are not true measures of self-worth–it does not stop us from leaning on these strengths and feeling that these dazzling attributes make up our value.

Mistaking abilities, looks, behaviors or material wealth as an expression of our value is like treasuring the outside box of a gift more than the true treasure inside.

ONE OF A KIND

I have witnessed great shifts in thinking when a client begins feeling into their greater-value as a being. This value far exceeds what we are good at in life, and is contained within our essence.  Essence is the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something.

Your essence is of great worth, and is always present, even when you are having a bad day or lose everything you thought to be prescious in the world.  You are a totally unique individual–one of a kind–and your energetic imprint is so rare that it is not shared by anyone else on the planet. Those external expressions we so highly value are merely a bit of icing on our gourmet cake.

Exploring this idea, and centering ourselves in the knowing that can and will eventually emerge from it, can be a great awakening of sorts. The liberation that can come from a personal practice that combines transcending the small ideas about our value with stretching to develop ourselves in well rounded ways as a human being (even if we consider ourselves to be “all-grown-up”) can create enhanced balance and well-being. Because even if you like being the bread-winner or the mom-of-the-year, you are still more than that.

The journey for playing with this idea can begin by:

–> Honoring the concept that you have an Essence that makes you YOU
–> Exploring parts of yourself that you have never considered a possibility
–> Considering what the flip side of your “weaknesses” are
–> Reactivating dormant aspects of yourself that you have left behind or neglected

Regardless of how we go about it, aligning with this deeper aspect of ourselves will keep us grounded in a vast sense of Self that is unchanging. When the kids go off to college, it is time to retire, or the wrinkles start to appear—we can feel rooted in the essence of who we are and continue to outwardly express and enjoy all our many dimensions.

Creating Like the gods Using Your Crystal Clear Intentions

And in the beginning, there was intention.

A vibrational container, intention is both the road map that directs our path, and the vehicle in which we flow forward.  Our intentions drive for us, even when we are not looking.

Defined as an aim or plan, an intention is a thing intended.  The late Middle English origin of the word was intentio in Latin meaning stretching and purpose.  Our intention then is a focused aim which is stretching us toward something.  This “something” is inspired by some purpose that moves us.

The energy of our life is moved by our dominant intentions.  And yet, with so much going on in our lives, if someone asks us what our intention is, we may find it difficult to accurately define.

Wishy-washy intentions create diffused experiences and result in confusion and chaos.  As a result, the universe is often creating multiple contradictory streams on our behalf.

Getting crystal clear about our intentions is a savvy alchemical move.  It allows you to enjoy more positive and fulfilling movement in your life towards what you love, with more ease.

The Organizing Vehicle of Creation

Intention is where divine Intelligence (consciousness) and the will of an individual-being intersect to provide instructions for the flow of creation.

Today modern science is beginning to validate what spiritual masters and visionaries have understood—that our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions indeed affect the world we live in.  Our creative potential is far greater than we realize.  Whether we are aware of it or not, we are always at work creating our future. It’s best then to create something that we like or want.

In light of this, taking some time to set, or tease out, the intentions for our life will ensure that we do not haphazardly create, based solely on day-to-day survival or hidden fears.

Always Working for You, Even When You’re Not

Your intention is more powerful than the actions that you are, or are not, taking each day.  Simply put, your intention is carrying you forward, even when you are lying on your back kicking and screaming.

Have you ever noticed that when you look back at old to-do lists or vision boards, almost everything you wanted or intended has somehow materialized or is very close at hand?

Meanwhile, you probably spent quality time obsessing, freaking and complaining during those years about how you are not getting anything on your to-do list done and that you’re staying in the same place that you have been trying to leave.

I recently dusted off my vision binder from several years ago and as I flipped through was amazed to find that nearly every item on my list, and every image tacked, had already manifested or was in the process of manifesting to some degree now.

Considering that I spent quality time through those years very frustrated with my perceived lack of professional progress, while being consumed with the important job of being a mom to my son, this was a real revelation about the law of attraction and the power of intention.  All the while I thought I was getting nowhere, but my clearly defined intentions were moving me forward even without my realizing it.  In that moment I realized the power of my intentions alone, and was grateful for the positive and inspired intentions I had set for myself.

Creating Like the gods

As we grow in our spiritual evolution there is access to greater frequency.  With this added power comes added responsibility.

It is essential that we take the responsibility of advanced creation seriously.  Clear intentions, aligned with the will of Spirit and highest good, are the key to masterful and responsible creation.

In order to be an effective creator, I have found the following to be helpful:

–>Take time to clarify intentions for each area of your life: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual

–>Speak these out loud and write them down

–>Identify and start to eliminate cross-purposes that essentially cancel out or sabotage the dominant intentions

–>Activate intentions with positive emotion, inspiration, visualization and gratitude

–>Demonstrate active faith by taking small actions that are aligned with your dominant intentions

Sit Back & Enjoy the Ride

One of the simplest and most powerful things that we can do right now to create far-reaching change is to take time to get specific and sincere about the intentions we hold.  As creators we can use our untapped resources in this way to generate positive transition in our life and world.

As we look to create our new worlds filled with high-vibe creations, our intentions provide a framework.  A vision which guides our activities, thoughts, attitudes, and choices–our intentions also help us to course-correct when we get off-track.

Setting crystal-clear, positive and energized intentions can protect us by repelling all that is not in alignment while attracting toward us all that is a match in essence.

When our dominant intention is clear, positive and strong, much of the worry we experience each day is needless.  Despite the fact that it may feel like we are moving at a snail’s pace toward our desires, when we are riding in the strong, well-constructed vehicle of our intention we can rest assured that just like that forgotten to-do list from many years back, we are moving towards our destination, and we can sit back and enjoy the ride.

The Magic of Mirroring

One of the things that I have found to be most fascinating in my journey of awareness is the phenomenon of mirroring. The realization that everyone around me is showing or telling me something about myself is truly an extraordinary thought.

It is a psychological truth that we often see in others that which we do not like in ourselves.  Since the law of attraction governs our Universe, like attracts like.  In this way life acts as a mirror for what is going on inside of us.

Often times the Universe sends people that cast a signal to us that answers one of our most pressing questions or helps us to heal our most important issues.  Like a looking glass, the person reflects an image back to us that shows us something we need to see.

Mirroring can be positive or negative; each of these offers a reflection of your truth.

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly 

When we see the positive in others and think about how we wish that we were more like that, we are experiencing positive mirroring.  People in our life whom we admire reflect our positive aspects that we may not recognize or acknowledge in ourselves.  The very fact that we notice and are able to see that attribute signifies that we contain that greatness somewhere in us.

Mirroring however may be most impressive, and challenging, when it happens in less appealing ways.

Working with the public as a holistic health counselor, I have become aware of the magic of mirroring on many occasions through direct experience.

Sending a client my way that mirrors what I need to see in myself, the Universe frequently gives me highly important guidance (for me) during sessions with clients.  Through them I am shown with precision that next thing I need to address, or that critical thing that I have been neglecting to do.

Often clients just won’t follow through on a particular recommendation regardless of how important or key it is to solving their most pressing concern.   In these moments, I have learned to move into neutral awareness and look for the connection.

Usually, this area is somehow related to me; what I am not doing, or not following through on, myself.  The Universe sends a magnetic-twin along to show me the answer that I have been seeking.

Try as I might—seeking the key to a pesky health concern or looking for the cause of a personal life imbalance—without that client and their challenge or question, I have not yet been successful in identifying that particular pattern or need in myself.

When I take the gift of this guidance shown to me by the human-mirror and make the change, I solve a significant problem.  Once I begin taking that supplement, removing that toxin, eating that food, working on that part of my personality, or paying attention to that certain relationship dynamic in my life—my own issue begins to heal.

By paying close attention to the many instances of mirroring in my life, my eyes have been opened to some core patterns.  I was intrigued to find that mirroring was not limited to my professional work, but also showed up in my personal relationships.

A Three Way Mirror

A mirroring pattern between three people has been the most transformative form of mirroring I have witnessed.  When it shows itself in divine perfection, life-long patterns can be resolved that spawn out in many directions.

Peering into the mirrors that the Universe brings into our lives and owning what is being shown can often take real strength…especially when that which is being shown is unflattering.

A revealing moment shown to you in an interaction with another casts a clear reflection.  Somewhere lurking in the shadows of your own being lies that most bothersome, painful and unacceptable trait or aspect that you have repeatedly disliked or been victim of by another.  This is when you finally see that the way you are being treated is also the way you unknowingly have treated someone else; or that the negative aspect you have looked harshly upon in another also lives in you.

It is important to emphasize that this is an unexpected trait or pattern that has long been hidden in you–and something that you would deny or reject.  You will know when you are on to it, because when faced with it in the mirror you can no longer deny it, and it makes you feel defensive, nauseous or emotionally disturbed.

For me, boundaries have always been a real challenge.  I assumed that I was very respectful of all boundaries since people steam-rolled right through mine so often.  However, understanding that this behavior is especially bothersome to me, I knew I needed to look for it within in order to pinpoint the root.

After a lifetime of problems maintaining my own personal boundaries, I had a mirroring-moment where I realized that a family-member who regularly exhibited boundary-busting behaviors that hurt me, was also showing me a deeply hidden disrespect for the boundaries of others within me.

I was stunned to see such a reflection.  It was difficult to see that I was guilty of something that I found so offensive.  After doing some deep inner work and taking responsibility for this issue, I was able to accept that I indeed treated others in this same way on occasion.

Able to view this pattern in three different ways (family member/myself/ friends) I could finally see the perplexing pattern clearly.  Once I was able to see it in this way, I could work to forgive it in another, and then learn to turn that same compassion inward, and also forgive myself.

What You See Is What You Are

Due to the law of attraction and the magic of mirroring it is possible that the types of behavior that we regularly see and don’t like in others are aspects deeply hidden within ourselves.

With constant self-examination, self-honesty, and a willingness to step outside of ourselves regularly, we can use this information to help see ourselves more objectively and to bring to the surface obvious or repressed issues that we have previously buried.

Recognizing the lessons that these situations and individuals are mirroring gives us the precious opportunity to become conscious of our hidden beliefs, feelings, imbalanced behaviors, or shadow personality traits so that we can experience less suffering and conflict.

When we grow in our ability to handle what can often be the difficult reflections shown to us through the phenomenon of mirroring, it becomes our own powerful and secret formula for becoming whole.

The questions, unknowns, and things that we cannot quite figure out on our own are able to be solved by images revealed to us through our connections with others.

Pulling Out of the Matrix

Life is happening these days at the speed of light.  Call it 2012, the Mayan calendar, or the last few good moments before the end of the world—whatever the case, we are at the brink of an acknowledged time acceleration. 

Whether the time space continuum is actually changing, or modern living just makes it seem that way–thriving and not just surviving requires a serious balancing act.  This means that you have to be more committed to those things that edify you, keep you healthy, and keep you sane, than you are to anything else.

It goes without saying that modern life is stressful.  Rapid changes and numerous expectations within multiple areas of life at the same time have increased the number of acute and chronic stressors in people’s lives.  Most people live under the steady strain of mild overwhelm.  This has become the norm.

Canadian researcher Hans Selye, a pioneer in the study of stress, published research over forty years ago showing that an increasing number of people in developed countries die of what he termed “diseases of civilization” primarily caused by stress.  His studies indicated that the stressors of the modern world were indeed the dominant cause of degenerative disease.

The modern system is a world-construct, a paradigm of which we are members.   However, just because everything is on hyper-drive this day and age does not mean that you have to be.

Stopping My World

Allowing myself to be whipped around in the whirlwind of life for years, I began to feel that I was literally being held hostage by modernization.  This, I discovered, was the invisible reason for my discontent.

So preoccupied with multitasking, I spent the majority of my time not living in the “now”, but worrying about what was coming next.  The inevitable demands of life seemed to leave me scrapping for a moment of peace and a sliver of joy.  Even worse, I began suffering from serious health challenges as a result.

Knowing that it was time to take my life back into my own hands, I spent a couple of years contemplating how I could extract the meaning from my hyper-busy-life, and then create a life centered around this meaning—in my existing modern world.

With this in mind I set out to discover the keys to restoring contentment, good health and well-being, and developed a personal-thrive-formula for my own life.

Pulling Out of the Matrix

When I began accepting that many of the norms that were well accepted by most people in our culture will never work for me, I knew that I was in quite a quandary.  Uh-oh, mama don’t wanna play that.

Realizing that I was spending the majority of my time coping with what-is rather than following my own vibe, I learned that living strategically would be the key to personal well-being.

I had to determine how I wanted to feel, what my body really needed, and under which conditions I thrive—and then create a lifestyle and business around these personal truths (rather than the other way around).  This revelation changed everything.

Doing things differently in a way that suited me meant that I had to:

–>Pull out of the mainstream matrix

->Make self-care and personal growth my hobby

Getting My Thrive On

Being in control of my situation and having power over how I show up in the world has been life-changing to say the least.  Pulling out of the matrix and reconnecting to those things that allow me to flow and be in my natural state has become my religion.

 My personal thrive-formula consists of the following variables:

 –>Simplify; identify and eliminate the things from my life that really aren’t important in order to consciously make time for what is (note: the world does not always agree with what I say is not important, and vice-versa)

 –>Honor my natural limits; stop when I hit my personal wall rather than pushing through it and don’t over-schedule or over-commit

 –>Feelings-first; decide how I want to feel, and follow where that feeling leads (the opposite of mainstream thinking) which keeps me connected to me, which then keeps me connected to my Original Blue Print, which then keeps me on my proper course (opposed to manipulated ideas and concocted plans)

 –>Eat real food; follow an 80/20 rule that consists mostly of living, natural foods containing the raw materials that my body-organism needs for peak functioning and healing

 –>Make rest & solitude a top priority; scheduling a pause in the middle of my day to honor my natural rhythm, restore harmony, and rekindle creativity

–>Tune into nature; time away from the hubbub of life to relax in communion with nature by laying, sitting or standing barefoot with direct contact on the earth for at least a few minutes a day (also great for the common modern day ailment of Restless Leg Syndrome)

 –>Movement; gentle yoga and stretching are essential… as it integrates my mind, body and spirit simultaneously in one essential activity and balances the time spent hunched over at my computer

–>Pursue meaningful work; writing and coaching allows for self-expression and service to others which connects me to my purpose and moves me in the direction of my heart’s desire

–>Do one thing at a time; ditching the tendency to multi-task and trying to do just one thing at a time actually allows me to get much more done and feel a sense of completion and accomplishment rather than confusion

–>Say no; the phrases “that doesn’t work for me” and “let me get back to you” have relieved me from the habit of just saying yes to please everyone leaving me frustrated and resentful that my own priorities had taken the back-seat once again

–>Practice radical self-care; I am not able to take care of anyone or anything else if I’m burnt out or run down, so creating the space for self-care is critical; getting a facial, manicure, massage, time off to watch a movie, taking a nap or whatever else I may need at the moment all count

–>Regular body work sessions; extremely transformative for me and my saving grace, I enjoy various kinds of bodywork regularly and get some of my best and workable ideas during this time

 –>Prioritize sleep; aiming for 9 to 10 hours of sleep is my (not always reachable but intended) goal as getting more sleep helps me function at a high level and be better at everything in my life

 –>Mentoring; ever the student, working with business, health, life coaches, and spiritual counselors pays off in spades helping me with my own multi-faceted development and creating a unique lifestyle and business that is an expression of my authenticity

Beyond Should’s And Have-To’s

Being busy 24/7 means that you may be missing out on the things that really bring joy and fulfillment in your life.  When life is over-complicated and over-full, there’s little space for what truly matters.  Personal growth, positive energy, love, and even breathing becomes a challenge.

Paradigm Shift:  What is working in your life right now, and what is not?  Do you maintain the status quo (buy what they sell, eat what they serve, do what they do) rarely thinking about a more original or authentic way of doing things that may bring you more personal contentment?

Coaching tip:

–>Identify where you are on auto-pilot

–>Figure out your non-negotiables for bringing forth the divine gold within yourself

Action step: 

–>Add one of these into your life regularly over the course of the next month

–>See what happens when you run at your own pace and champion your own needs

You can begin conscious lifestyle creation, starting now.  With nothing more than the ingredients at hand you already possess the capability to devise a new response that can revise your current situation if you so desire.

Everything in your life can’t change over night, and certain responsibilites are required of you.  However, if you think outside of the box and open yourself up to what may be viewed as unorthodox approaches, you can begin to re-order your modern life in a way that will allow you to thrive rather than just survive.

Thought-Flipping: A Guide for Taking Charge of Your Mind-Stuff

No matter where we are on our personal growth journey, there is always room for improvement when it comes to disciplining our mind.  The mind-work is never done.

It is estimated that people talk to themselves–either subconsciously or out-loud–at the rate of approximately 50 to 300 words per minute.  Research says that on average we have 65,000 thoughts each day, and that 95% of those thoughts are reoccurring.  Much of this is self-talk or inwardly directed chatter.

Although it may go unnoticed, each thought creates a physical response.  The thoughts being had create emotions and automatic responses in the body which significantly affect our physical health and mental well-being.  Whether we are feeling happy or upset will be dependent on what thoughts we are thinking.  And effects such as accelerated heart rate and changes in blood pressure can be measured as we think certain thoughts.

Essentially our mind is constantly running, thinking repetitive thoughts (the same thoughts that we had yesterday, and the day before that) and our body and emotions are strongly triggered by them.  Clearly, this makes how we think and what we think extremely important.

Mental Cramps

Years ago my personal journey was triggered by symptoms in my body which my first teacher quickly helped me trace with precision, right to my mind.

At first I was so identified with my thoughts that I could not really see them.  My thoughts seemed to be me, and I didn’t feel like I had any power over them.  I had been living a life at the mercy of my undisciplined mind, without even realizing it.

I spent many years focused on taming my wild and rebellious mind.  And in the process I learned that being my own mental-manager was absolutely essential to co-creating a desirable reality.

When I become preoccupied with life, however, I can temporarily lose consciousness in this area for days at a time.  Sometimes I snap-to only to find myself in the midst of racing thoughts, obsessive mental patterns and irrational fears.

For the past few months while navigating a great deal of transition and some very new terrain, I found that I had indeed slipped into a jaded state of mind.  Spinning wildly on the wheel of randomized ideas and unruly self-talk, my mind was in a state of negative looping.

As I began my mental-monitoring, I saw that I was continually framing neutral or potentially amazing things in unnecessarily negative ways.  I had allowed myself to become over-tired, un-centered, and in a state of overwhelm–and as a result, disorderly thought systems were taking root in my un-tended mind.

Negative thoughts grow like weeds.  Left unmanaged, wild and obsessive sprouts can begin to take hold in the soil of the mind.  I knew that I had to get the pruning shears out—and fast.  I immediately dusted off the most powerful mind-tool in my holistic box and began tending to my precious mental garden.

The Thought-Flipping Process

Thought flipping is an advanced form of mind monitoring and management.  This practice accepts that our thoughts are powerful and we can choose them.  Then it wastes no time.

As soon as negative thought-patterns are identified, a silent alarm sounds.  The observer of the thought then steps in with absolute authority and re-programs the mind by flipping the thought on its head, and thinking the exact opposite.

Once a pattern of strong pessimism about a particular aspect of life is identified for example, the observer flips it in that moment, and chooses optimism.   It is the art of taking back the powerful domain of the mind without wasting time giving the weed-thought any consideration or valuable energy.

At first the mind will rebel in defense of the negative thought by alerting the observer of how the flipped thought is ridiculous and could not possibly be true.  With thought-flipping, however, the observer’s immediate response back to the mind is direct and commanding.  The mind is reminded that it’s former thought was, at the very least, as lousy and untrue as the new, flipped one—and as it’s conscious and intelligent Master the observer chooses what is true.

Rewriting Your Mental Script

It is human nature to think negatively about others or ourselves from time to time.  However, unchecked and frequent negative brain chatter can leave us feeling out of control.  A train of thought that is directed towards yourself which undermines you or what you are trying to accomplish, is negative-thinking.   Such spiraling thoughts are the most effective way to self-sabotage.

Take these ideas, for example:

Every day at work you think:  “I am so stressed out because I don’t work as fast as the others at my job, which makes me feel like I am less than those around me, and that at some point I am going to be fired.”  This thought can be healed by changing it to:  “I appreciate that I take my time doing my job according to my own rhythm which allows me to express my unique genius, and my boss should value that attribute in me, because in the end I always deliver big.”

When you turn it around, you realize that either thought can be true.  It is always possible, and even likely, that the negative version which you are obsessively perpetuating is incorrect.

Often times our thoughts don’t even make sense.  Take this common pattern for example:  “I missed an entire week of yoga, so I might as well skip today too and give up the whole idea of exercise completely, because I have no self-discipline.”  Flipping this thought changes it to be more healthy and accurate:  “I honored my feelings and took a needed break from yoga last week, so I am going to take an intense yoga class today because I am truly committed to the idea of feeling good in mind and body.”

A way to transform a thought is to change the wording.  Your thoughts can be wrong, and you can re-write them.  Which one do you want to be true?  You get to choose.

Taking Charge of Your Mind-Stuff

Once you’ve identified a serial negative thought that continues popping into your mind making you feel fearful, sad, uncomfortable, depressed, or hopeless, try the following thought-flipping ritual:

=> Write the thought down on paper and take a good look at it

=> Do you know this thought is true?

=> Does this thought serve you?

=> Write down the opposing thought which counters the negative thought

=> Change the wording of the thought in a way that heals it

=> Every time you find yourself thinking the original habitual thought pattern, catch yourself, and continuously replace it with the new flipped thought

This technique is a process of offering the antidote for the problematic thinking pattern each time it appears.  By flipping the thought, it is cured.  You are healing your mind-stuff thought by thought, thus co-creating a reality with deliberate intent.

How Will Your Garden Grow?

Acknowledging that we can choose our thoughts is taking back a great deal of power.   Becoming aware of our thoughts allows us to look at them.  When we look at them, we are removed from them; there is space between us and the thought.

When there is space between us and our thoughts, we identify with them less.  When we identify with our thoughts less, we can decide if a thought is true, whether a thought serves us, and if there is a better thought that is more aligned with our true nature and highest desires.

And then we can determine what our mind will be filled with 65,000 times a day.

Our world is made from mind-stuff.  Taking the step of conscious co-creation by monitoring our mind, weeding our mental garden, and planting good thought-seeds, will ensure that we like what blooms.