Romanticizing, Ridiculing & Avoiding

The present moment contains in it both the energy of the past and the future

Although our minds have an almost compulsive need to drive in reverse or screech forward, disciplining ourselves to stay fully focused in the here and now is where power and peace reside.

A simple concept and one that has become quite the buzz, staying totally present and engaged in the present moment at all times is arguably the biggest challenge we face in a day.

It is all too tempting to journey down memory lane, to analyze every detail of yesterday, or to fantasize about the dreams of tomorrow. 

These mental trips take us out of the reality of here and now.  This thinking can become something of a trance, taking you on a “trip” and causing you to agonize over, or exaggerate the greatness of, that which is being considered.   We generally either remember it to be worse or think it up to be better than it really is or will be. 

Distorting Mind-Play:  The Tendency to Romanticize or Ridicule              

Looking backwards is a slippery slope.  It is tempting to remember the good ol’ days, to analyze what we believe to be a personal historical mistake in order to glean wisdom from our error, or to think about what is yet to be. 

Our perspectives however are colored by many things.  Thoughts that come up are rarely neutral.  Mental meandering is generally either romanticized or ridiculed, creating guilt and shame, or unrealistic expectations which may never be obtained

Often the tiny real life details of the moment that led up to the experience that is under review are forgotten.  These are the nitty-gritty details that the mind likes to gloss over. 

Likewise, the real-life occurrences that will culminate to make up the future is unaccounted for when we dream about being somewhere in the future other than here and now.  The ivory-tower thinking changes dramatically when grounded by practical experience.

Backwards, forward, and sideways–the mind will analyze, distort, and drain out all magic from these experiences–turning them into a mangled mess.  

The Ego’s Positive & Negative Delusions

Perfect examples of this can be seen in common triggers for people.

Often rather than finding their own passion and creating a life all their own, many girls dream of the future day that a perfect man will come rescue her from the average life she now lives.  In this future fueled fantasy she will live a picture perfect life free of struggle and void of all suffering.

Likewise, many people tend to romanticize the past and engage in delusional thinking about prior experiences or relationships.  Prime examples of this are the men and women who remember a previous partner with irrational fondness despite the fact their time with that person was riddled with perpetual negativity and issues.  Yet, when escaping the now moment by traveling down memory lane wearing their rose-tinted lenses, all that is remembered is the glossy-image-of-perfection that this relationship and person supposedly embodied. 

Another mental trap that contains a myriad of blind spots is when parents spend time agonizing on the errors or inadequacies of how they raised their children.  Here, the past is often distorted as there is a strong urge for parents to beat themselves up.  They should have taken little Joe on more bike rides or played dolls more with little Suzie.  The parent however was doing many important things with, or for, Joe or Suzie instead of bike riding and doll playing.

It’s All Here in the Now

The evolution of life ensures that this very moment contains both the lessons of yesterday and the promise of tomorrow.  Both the present and past are contained in a relevant way within the energy of now.  Thus, everything needed to heal and create is right here and right now.  And the next step is only revealed to you when you are fully engaged in the present step.

As they say, this very moment is a gift, which is why it is called the present.

We may cause ourselves much guilt, pain and suffering when we look backwards; and we could set ourselves up for preconceived resentments with unrealistic expectations when we set our future fantasies up in order to escape reality.  Each of these are acts of rejecting the here and now.

Embracing the now, accepting the here, and gently guiding the energy forward with respect for where we have been, and inspiration for what may lie ahead, allows us to bask in the present peace offered in each gifted minute of every blessed day. 

 

 

The Middle Way Takes You There

A New Take On Resolutions:The Middle Way Takes You There

As we shift now, marked by the end of ancient calendars and the beginning of a new year, there seems to be a call for a transcendence and reconciliation of the extremes and opposing ways in our life.

Having survived the polarizing period marked by the end of humanity’s 26,000 year cycle, and the conclusion of another year in our personal lives, we continue to travel around the circle of life as we embark on new beginnings.

We often celebrate the end of a year by setting intentions of some kind for the next. In this way, we generally say, “I want to stop doing this and start doing that.”

However, whether we are looking forward globally as a collective, or personally as an individual, moving from the extreme of this to the opposite extreme of that involves a massive change.

Idealism aside, in most cases such moves are unrealistic. A reason that resolutions of this kind do not hold up is because they are just too drastic.

Rarely do they honor where you ARE but rather they catapult you toward an ideal that you are nowhere near able to sustain (otherwise, you’d already be doing it).

The Way Between This and That

Maybe you’ve noticed that extremes have been playing out everywhere. The flame of extremism peaks it seems before it burns out. Many people, myself included, have been bouncing between old habits and new behaviors, high emotional states and lowly feelings of shame and pain, or feelings of throwing-in-the-towel met with a new sense of can-do felt stronger than ever before.

In this way it is apparent that the conclusion of this year is a catalyst for integration.

We have arrived at a connection with our zero point. This beginning is different from others in that now we can finally integrate our inner (subjective) world and the outer (objective) world.

The potential for such reconciliation has been long sought by many, because the separation and deviation between our inner-world-reality and our outer-world- reality causes each of us suffering.

Here, in the zero point energy offered between the old and the new, there is an opportunity and call to integrate our extremes in order to embark on a middle-way.

The middle-way says that we don’t damn the thing we think we need to stop, nor do we idealize the thing that we want to start.

Instead, we find the place in between these two points, where we can balance and even enjoy ourselves while making upgrades and taking the journey toward our own potential.

Very often we resist the middle way because:

–>      As a path it seems too simple and subtle

–>      Balance is in fact the hardest thing

But the middle-way is the perfect fusion between where we are and where we want to go, the neutral point between what we deem bad and good, and the states of being & doing. 

In the middle, we don’t need to stop or start, but rather we just move along toward our next in renewed ways.

A New Approach for a New Year

This year as you take stock of your thrills, successes, disappointments and personal let-downs, find the lessons.  And if you make a resolution consider letting it be simply to go forward on the path of the middle-way where you integrate where you are and where you are headed.

By setting a resolution to find the middle-way in all that we aspire to improve or change, we will begin collapsing dualities and taming extremes.

Some examples of common extremes and possible middle-way intentions could include:

–>      Natural Healing vs. Allopathic Medicine

The Middle Way:  As we look towards the possibility of improving our health or healing, we can give ourselves permission to use the medicines, supplements, foods and treatments that support us right now that create maximum comfort and success regardless of what they may be.

–>      Indulgence vs. Abstinence

The Middle Way:  As we examine habits or behaviors that we may beat ourselves up about or struggle to keep balanced, we can use the crowding out philosophy which allows partaking without berating as we include equal behaviors, substances and nourishing activities that feel good and naturally crowd-out the imbalanced habit without feeling deprivation (which is a trigger for addiction).

–>      Real Relationship vs. Ideal Relationship

The Middle Way:  As we ponder ways to increase contentment and satisfaction in our personal relationships we can start by dropping the extreme templates formed around the expectations placed in our heads from fairy tales, hollywood movies, or roles and images from days of old.  Instead we can go for the practice of allowing each other to be who we are and looking for ways to compromise and find the middle ground around this authentic being-ness.

–>     Religion vs. Spirituality

The Middle Way:  As we reflect on belief systems or look to up our spiritual practices we can intend to ease the promotion of strict lines of thinking that lead us to feel fear, guilt, shame and separation and find ways to connect with the essence and heart from which our personal practice is based, which unites, edifies and builds up.

–>      Job that you don’t like vs. Creative Labor that excites you

The Middle Way:  As we seek meaning and purpose in our lives through career or service, we can give ourselves space to re-examine how we spend our days, our occupational duties, and the ideal that lights us up.  Rather than drastic moves or staying the course in mysery, it is likely possible to find ways to do more of what we love at our existing occupation and less of what we don’t, or ignite projects outside of work that include our passions.

Having It All Right Now

We know from experience that there is rarely a quick fix solution.  Unresolved “stuff” which stands between the way it is and the way it could be indicates that it is going to take time for things to fully shift to the eden-like state of perfection that we are all templated to desire.

This may best be taken on by keeping our eye on the new possibility which we can see clearly now perhaps for the first time while taking steps of incremental change which lead us into the Garden.

Through sincerity, endurance, presence and truth of heart we always prosper.  The path of the middle-way takes us out of our all or nothing mentality and places us in an energetic zone of prosperity where we exist within the potential of having it all right now. And we do whatever we can do right now, from this place.

As we enjoy this fresh start of a new year, we only need to make one resokution: to inyend to move along the path of the middle-way. 

It is the one resolution that will mean something very different to us all, and yet will simultaneously set us on a unified path.

The Uber Importance of Feeling Good

Many would say that our culture has become too concerned with “feelings”.  And that, this concern has caused an over-sensitive generation of ego-centric folks to be obsessed with how things make them feel, (and unwilling to do the things that make them feel bad even if they are a necessity).

Maybe there is some imbalance in this area.  After all, the pendulum had to swing fiercely to leave the long grueling years of “grin and bear it” in order to get to a place where a vision of life that does not involve long-suffering was a possibility.

As a result, most of us who now concern ourselves with feelings had to overcome a belief system that causes us to be concerned after a period of too much good-feeling.  We assume that things aren’t allowed to be that good for too long.  We begin looking for the reasons we should stop feeling good, as if feeling bad a certain amount of the time is some duty we have.

We all have these notions about feelings, and good feelings.  These fears and beliefs have been instilled in us one way or another.

But let’s take a minute to consider the fusion of feelings and physics.  Inertia, entropy and momentum are laws of physics and properties of matter.  If we live on earth we are to some degree influenced by them.

Essentially this would mean that in terms of inertia if we are moving in the direction of things that don’t feel good, we will continue in that direction until influenced by an outside force otherwise.

Entropy says that, left to themselves things tend to go from bad to worse.  So using our will to move towards that which feels better would seem to be a wise choice.

Ah, feelings can be wise.

And yet, we live in a world that often scoffs at paying too much attention to feeling.  After all, feelings are whimsical and they can’t be trusted.

Hard-core people who like to compete and win will say that aiming for good feelings is airy-fairy.  After all who has time to choose the better feeling thought and move towards the better feeling thing, when one is concerned with dominating , controlling, and forcing.

I recently read an excerpt from a book written by Dr. Christiane Northrup in which she said that her father always told her that feelings were facts and to pay attention to them.  My wise father has always said that we cannot change our feelings, but we can change the way we respond to them.

And I say that the way we can respond to our feelings is by paying more attention to them and not less; to give them the respect they deserve, and to let them influence the choices we make, and those things for which we aim.

Pick a thought that feels better, take an action that feels better, move toward the goal that once reached will make you feel better–because a better feeling reality is a better reality, yes?

Changing our approach to our life and giving our feelings the credibility they deserve seems to be an evolution for culture.  Our minds are useful, and they can get us far.  But our feelings, yes… they may get us farther.  Our feelings connect us with the unseen, that which is not known, but can be felt.

Rather than suppressing feelings or repressing feelings or ignoring feelings, what if we sat them on the throne and let them lead?  What about a world full of better feeling people?

Suddenly feelings become a state of existence, and a state of existence is a reality.

The Magic of Mirroring

One of the things that I have found to be most fascinating in my journey of awareness is the phenomenon of mirroring. The realization that everyone around me is showing or telling me something about myself is truly an extraordinary thought.

It is a psychological truth that we often see in others that which we do not like in ourselves.  Since the law of attraction governs our Universe, like attracts like.  In this way life acts as a mirror for what is going on inside of us.

Often times the Universe sends people that cast a signal to us that answers one of our most pressing questions or helps us to heal our most important issues.  Like a looking glass, the person reflects an image back to us that shows us something we need to see.

Mirroring can be positive or negative; each of these offers a reflection of your truth.

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly 

When we see the positive in others and think about how we wish that we were more like that, we are experiencing positive mirroring.  People in our life whom we admire reflect our positive aspects that we may not recognize or acknowledge in ourselves.  The very fact that we notice and are able to see that attribute signifies that we contain that greatness somewhere in us.

Mirroring however may be most impressive, and challenging, when it happens in less appealing ways.

Working with the public as a holistic health counselor, I have become aware of the magic of mirroring on many occasions through direct experience.

Sending a client my way that mirrors what I need to see in myself, the Universe frequently gives me highly important guidance (for me) during sessions with clients.  Through them I am shown with precision that next thing I need to address, or that critical thing that I have been neglecting to do.

Often clients just won’t follow through on a particular recommendation regardless of how important or key it is to solving their most pressing concern.   In these moments, I have learned to move into neutral awareness and look for the connection.

Usually, this area is somehow related to me; what I am not doing, or not following through on, myself.  The Universe sends a magnetic-twin along to show me the answer that I have been seeking.

Try as I might—seeking the key to a pesky health concern or looking for the cause of a personal life imbalance—without that client and their challenge or question, I have not yet been successful in identifying that particular pattern or need in myself.

When I take the gift of this guidance shown to me by the human-mirror and make the change, I solve a significant problem.  Once I begin taking that supplement, removing that toxin, eating that food, working on that part of my personality, or paying attention to that certain relationship dynamic in my life—my own issue begins to heal.

By paying close attention to the many instances of mirroring in my life, my eyes have been opened to some core patterns.  I was intrigued to find that mirroring was not limited to my professional work, but also showed up in my personal relationships.

A Three Way Mirror

A mirroring pattern between three people has been the most transformative form of mirroring I have witnessed.  When it shows itself in divine perfection, life-long patterns can be resolved that spawn out in many directions.

Peering into the mirrors that the Universe brings into our lives and owning what is being shown can often take real strength…especially when that which is being shown is unflattering.

A revealing moment shown to you in an interaction with another casts a clear reflection.  Somewhere lurking in the shadows of your own being lies that most bothersome, painful and unacceptable trait or aspect that you have repeatedly disliked or been victim of by another.  This is when you finally see that the way you are being treated is also the way you unknowingly have treated someone else; or that the negative aspect you have looked harshly upon in another also lives in you.

It is important to emphasize that this is an unexpected trait or pattern that has long been hidden in you–and something that you would deny or reject.  You will know when you are on to it, because when faced with it in the mirror you can no longer deny it, and it makes you feel defensive, nauseous or emotionally disturbed.

For me, boundaries have always been a real challenge.  I assumed that I was very respectful of all boundaries since people steam-rolled right through mine so often.  However, understanding that this behavior is especially bothersome to me, I knew I needed to look for it within in order to pinpoint the root.

After a lifetime of problems maintaining my own personal boundaries, I had a mirroring-moment where I realized that a family-member who regularly exhibited boundary-busting behaviors that hurt me, was also showing me a deeply hidden disrespect for the boundaries of others within me.

I was stunned to see such a reflection.  It was difficult to see that I was guilty of something that I found so offensive.  After doing some deep inner work and taking responsibility for this issue, I was able to accept that I indeed treated others in this same way on occasion.

Able to view this pattern in three different ways (family member/myself/ friends) I could finally see the perplexing pattern clearly.  Once I was able to see it in this way, I could work to forgive it in another, and then learn to turn that same compassion inward, and also forgive myself.

What You See Is What You Are

Due to the law of attraction and the magic of mirroring it is possible that the types of behavior that we regularly see and don’t like in others are aspects deeply hidden within ourselves.

With constant self-examination, self-honesty, and a willingness to step outside of ourselves regularly, we can use this information to help see ourselves more objectively and to bring to the surface obvious or repressed issues that we have previously buried.

Recognizing the lessons that these situations and individuals are mirroring gives us the precious opportunity to become conscious of our hidden beliefs, feelings, imbalanced behaviors, or shadow personality traits so that we can experience less suffering and conflict.

When we grow in our ability to handle what can often be the difficult reflections shown to us through the phenomenon of mirroring, it becomes our own powerful and secret formula for becoming whole.

The questions, unknowns, and things that we cannot quite figure out on our own are able to be solved by images revealed to us through our connections with others.

Pulling Out of the Matrix

Life is happening these days at the speed of light.  Call it 2012, the Mayan calendar, or the last few good moments before the end of the world—whatever the case, we are at the brink of an acknowledged time acceleration. 

Whether the time space continuum is actually changing, or modern living just makes it seem that way–thriving and not just surviving requires a serious balancing act.  This means that you have to be more committed to those things that edify you, keep you healthy, and keep you sane, than you are to anything else.

It goes without saying that modern life is stressful.  Rapid changes and numerous expectations within multiple areas of life at the same time have increased the number of acute and chronic stressors in people’s lives.  Most people live under the steady strain of mild overwhelm.  This has become the norm.

Canadian researcher Hans Selye, a pioneer in the study of stress, published research over forty years ago showing that an increasing number of people in developed countries die of what he termed “diseases of civilization” primarily caused by stress.  His studies indicated that the stressors of the modern world were indeed the dominant cause of degenerative disease.

The modern system is a world-construct, a paradigm of which we are members.   However, just because everything is on hyper-drive this day and age does not mean that you have to be.

Stopping My World

Allowing myself to be whipped around in the whirlwind of life for years, I began to feel that I was literally being held hostage by modernization.  This, I discovered, was the invisible reason for my discontent.

So preoccupied with multitasking, I spent the majority of my time not living in the “now”, but worrying about what was coming next.  The inevitable demands of life seemed to leave me scrapping for a moment of peace and a sliver of joy.  Even worse, I began suffering from serious health challenges as a result.

Knowing that it was time to take my life back into my own hands, I spent a couple of years contemplating how I could extract the meaning from my hyper-busy-life, and then create a life centered around this meaning—in my existing modern world.

With this in mind I set out to discover the keys to restoring contentment, good health and well-being, and developed a personal-thrive-formula for my own life.

Pulling Out of the Matrix

When I began accepting that many of the norms that were well accepted by most people in our culture will never work for me, I knew that I was in quite a quandary.  Uh-oh, mama don’t wanna play that.

Realizing that I was spending the majority of my time coping with what-is rather than following my own vibe, I learned that living strategically would be the key to personal well-being.

I had to determine how I wanted to feel, what my body really needed, and under which conditions I thrive—and then create a lifestyle and business around these personal truths (rather than the other way around).  This revelation changed everything.

Doing things differently in a way that suited me meant that I had to:

–>Pull out of the mainstream matrix

->Make self-care and personal growth my hobby

Getting My Thrive On

Being in control of my situation and having power over how I show up in the world has been life-changing to say the least.  Pulling out of the matrix and reconnecting to those things that allow me to flow and be in my natural state has become my religion.

 My personal thrive-formula consists of the following variables:

 –>Simplify; identify and eliminate the things from my life that really aren’t important in order to consciously make time for what is (note: the world does not always agree with what I say is not important, and vice-versa)

 –>Honor my natural limits; stop when I hit my personal wall rather than pushing through it and don’t over-schedule or over-commit

 –>Feelings-first; decide how I want to feel, and follow where that feeling leads (the opposite of mainstream thinking) which keeps me connected to me, which then keeps me connected to my Original Blue Print, which then keeps me on my proper course (opposed to manipulated ideas and concocted plans)

 –>Eat real food; follow an 80/20 rule that consists mostly of living, natural foods containing the raw materials that my body-organism needs for peak functioning and healing

 –>Make rest & solitude a top priority; scheduling a pause in the middle of my day to honor my natural rhythm, restore harmony, and rekindle creativity

–>Tune into nature; time away from the hubbub of life to relax in communion with nature by laying, sitting or standing barefoot with direct contact on the earth for at least a few minutes a day (also great for the common modern day ailment of Restless Leg Syndrome)

 –>Movement; gentle yoga and stretching are essential… as it integrates my mind, body and spirit simultaneously in one essential activity and balances the time spent hunched over at my computer

–>Pursue meaningful work; writing and coaching allows for self-expression and service to others which connects me to my purpose and moves me in the direction of my heart’s desire

–>Do one thing at a time; ditching the tendency to multi-task and trying to do just one thing at a time actually allows me to get much more done and feel a sense of completion and accomplishment rather than confusion

–>Say no; the phrases “that doesn’t work for me” and “let me get back to you” have relieved me from the habit of just saying yes to please everyone leaving me frustrated and resentful that my own priorities had taken the back-seat once again

–>Practice radical self-care; I am not able to take care of anyone or anything else if I’m burnt out or run down, so creating the space for self-care is critical; getting a facial, manicure, massage, time off to watch a movie, taking a nap or whatever else I may need at the moment all count

–>Regular body work sessions; extremely transformative for me and my saving grace, I enjoy various kinds of bodywork regularly and get some of my best and workable ideas during this time

 –>Prioritize sleep; aiming for 9 to 10 hours of sleep is my (not always reachable but intended) goal as getting more sleep helps me function at a high level and be better at everything in my life

 –>Mentoring; ever the student, working with business, health, life coaches, and spiritual counselors pays off in spades helping me with my own multi-faceted development and creating a unique lifestyle and business that is an expression of my authenticity

Beyond Should’s And Have-To’s

Being busy 24/7 means that you may be missing out on the things that really bring joy and fulfillment in your life.  When life is over-complicated and over-full, there’s little space for what truly matters.  Personal growth, positive energy, love, and even breathing becomes a challenge.

Paradigm Shift:  What is working in your life right now, and what is not?  Do you maintain the status quo (buy what they sell, eat what they serve, do what they do) rarely thinking about a more original or authentic way of doing things that may bring you more personal contentment?

Coaching tip:

–>Identify where you are on auto-pilot

–>Figure out your non-negotiables for bringing forth the divine gold within yourself

Action step: 

–>Add one of these into your life regularly over the course of the next month

–>See what happens when you run at your own pace and champion your own needs

You can begin conscious lifestyle creation, starting now.  With nothing more than the ingredients at hand you already possess the capability to devise a new response that can revise your current situation if you so desire.

Everything in your life can’t change over night, and certain responsibilites are required of you.  However, if you think outside of the box and open yourself up to what may be viewed as unorthodox approaches, you can begin to re-order your modern life in a way that will allow you to thrive rather than just survive.

Thought-Flipping: A Guide for Taking Charge of Your Mind-Stuff

No matter where we are on our personal growth journey, there is always room for improvement when it comes to disciplining our mind.  The mind-work is never done.

It is estimated that people talk to themselves–either subconsciously or out-loud–at the rate of approximately 50 to 300 words per minute.  Research says that on average we have 65,000 thoughts each day, and that 95% of those thoughts are reoccurring.  Much of this is self-talk or inwardly directed chatter.

Although it may go unnoticed, each thought creates a physical response.  The thoughts being had create emotions and automatic responses in the body which significantly affect our physical health and mental well-being.  Whether we are feeling happy or upset will be dependent on what thoughts we are thinking.  And effects such as accelerated heart rate and changes in blood pressure can be measured as we think certain thoughts.

Essentially our mind is constantly running, thinking repetitive thoughts (the same thoughts that we had yesterday, and the day before that) and our body and emotions are strongly triggered by them.  Clearly, this makes how we think and what we think extremely important.

Mental Cramps

Years ago my personal journey was triggered by symptoms in my body which my first teacher quickly helped me trace with precision, right to my mind.

At first I was so identified with my thoughts that I could not really see them.  My thoughts seemed to be me, and I didn’t feel like I had any power over them.  I had been living a life at the mercy of my undisciplined mind, without even realizing it.

I spent many years focused on taming my wild and rebellious mind.  And in the process I learned that being my own mental-manager was absolutely essential to co-creating a desirable reality.

When I become preoccupied with life, however, I can temporarily lose consciousness in this area for days at a time.  Sometimes I snap-to only to find myself in the midst of racing thoughts, obsessive mental patterns and irrational fears.

For the past few months while navigating a great deal of transition and some very new terrain, I found that I had indeed slipped into a jaded state of mind.  Spinning wildly on the wheel of randomized ideas and unruly self-talk, my mind was in a state of negative looping.

As I began my mental-monitoring, I saw that I was continually framing neutral or potentially amazing things in unnecessarily negative ways.  I had allowed myself to become over-tired, un-centered, and in a state of overwhelm–and as a result, disorderly thought systems were taking root in my un-tended mind.

Negative thoughts grow like weeds.  Left unmanaged, wild and obsessive sprouts can begin to take hold in the soil of the mind.  I knew that I had to get the pruning shears out—and fast.  I immediately dusted off the most powerful mind-tool in my holistic box and began tending to my precious mental garden.

The Thought-Flipping Process

Thought flipping is an advanced form of mind monitoring and management.  This practice accepts that our thoughts are powerful and we can choose them.  Then it wastes no time.

As soon as negative thought-patterns are identified, a silent alarm sounds.  The observer of the thought then steps in with absolute authority and re-programs the mind by flipping the thought on its head, and thinking the exact opposite.

Once a pattern of strong pessimism about a particular aspect of life is identified for example, the observer flips it in that moment, and chooses optimism.   It is the art of taking back the powerful domain of the mind without wasting time giving the weed-thought any consideration or valuable energy.

At first the mind will rebel in defense of the negative thought by alerting the observer of how the flipped thought is ridiculous and could not possibly be true.  With thought-flipping, however, the observer’s immediate response back to the mind is direct and commanding.  The mind is reminded that it’s former thought was, at the very least, as lousy and untrue as the new, flipped one—and as it’s conscious and intelligent Master the observer chooses what is true.

Rewriting Your Mental Script

It is human nature to think negatively about others or ourselves from time to time.  However, unchecked and frequent negative brain chatter can leave us feeling out of control.  A train of thought that is directed towards yourself which undermines you or what you are trying to accomplish, is negative-thinking.   Such spiraling thoughts are the most effective way to self-sabotage.

Take these ideas, for example:

Every day at work you think:  “I am so stressed out because I don’t work as fast as the others at my job, which makes me feel like I am less than those around me, and that at some point I am going to be fired.”  This thought can be healed by changing it to:  “I appreciate that I take my time doing my job according to my own rhythm which allows me to express my unique genius, and my boss should value that attribute in me, because in the end I always deliver big.”

When you turn it around, you realize that either thought can be true.  It is always possible, and even likely, that the negative version which you are obsessively perpetuating is incorrect.

Often times our thoughts don’t even make sense.  Take this common pattern for example:  “I missed an entire week of yoga, so I might as well skip today too and give up the whole idea of exercise completely, because I have no self-discipline.”  Flipping this thought changes it to be more healthy and accurate:  “I honored my feelings and took a needed break from yoga last week, so I am going to take an intense yoga class today because I am truly committed to the idea of feeling good in mind and body.”

A way to transform a thought is to change the wording.  Your thoughts can be wrong, and you can re-write them.  Which one do you want to be true?  You get to choose.

Taking Charge of Your Mind-Stuff

Once you’ve identified a serial negative thought that continues popping into your mind making you feel fearful, sad, uncomfortable, depressed, or hopeless, try the following thought-flipping ritual:

=> Write the thought down on paper and take a good look at it

=> Do you know this thought is true?

=> Does this thought serve you?

=> Write down the opposing thought which counters the negative thought

=> Change the wording of the thought in a way that heals it

=> Every time you find yourself thinking the original habitual thought pattern, catch yourself, and continuously replace it with the new flipped thought

This technique is a process of offering the antidote for the problematic thinking pattern each time it appears.  By flipping the thought, it is cured.  You are healing your mind-stuff thought by thought, thus co-creating a reality with deliberate intent.

How Will Your Garden Grow?

Acknowledging that we can choose our thoughts is taking back a great deal of power.   Becoming aware of our thoughts allows us to look at them.  When we look at them, we are removed from them; there is space between us and the thought.

When there is space between us and our thoughts, we identify with them less.  When we identify with our thoughts less, we can decide if a thought is true, whether a thought serves us, and if there is a better thought that is more aligned with our true nature and highest desires.

And then we can determine what our mind will be filled with 65,000 times a day.

Our world is made from mind-stuff.  Taking the step of conscious co-creation by monitoring our mind, weeding our mental garden, and planting good thought-seeds, will ensure that we like what blooms.

From Hero to Zero–Transcending Dualistic Self-Worth Syndrome

Lately I have been thinking about the topic of self-worth.  The question that comes up for me is—am I worthy and able to do this work in the world even though I am flawed?

Self-sabotaging thoughts fly to the surface, ready to convince me that I need to be completely healed, totally satisfied with my physical image, and living a one-hundred-percent sustainable and natural life myself in order to be justified in helping others work toward the same.

But are these really the things that make up my value as a person, professional, healer, holistic educator and health coach?

How May I Serve?

Many things influence my perspective of how I am doing in the realms of health, wellness, appearance and lifestyle.  My perception constantly fluctuates based on the day I am having, the way I am eating, how I am treating my body, the people I am hanging around with or how I am spending my precious time.

If I am working my tools—doing yoga, eating clean, practicing extreme self-care, getting my recycling out of the door, and surrounding myself with a community of like-minded people who appreciate and remind me of my gifts—I feel healthy, inspired, connected, and worthy of helping another claim these things for themselves.

On the contrary, during the course of a bad day when the very basics of daily life are a real challenge—I feel unworthy.  My mind, filled with images of modern-day-twenty-first-century delusions of perfection, tells me that I am not enough and that I cannot possibly function in the world as an effective guide for others.

Is this true?  Or is this what happens when I am ungrounded, allowing my thoughts and feelings to bounce me around from moment to moment and day to day?

Dualistic Self-Worth Syndrome

Maybe you suffer from dualistic self-worth syndrome too?  Fluctuating between an inflated sense of self and a deflated sense of self based on the circumstances of your life.  Are you good enough if you are making it to the gym every day and dropping digits on the scale, and not enough if you ate carbs yesterday?

Due to the overwhelming pressure on all of us to be “perfect” today—nearly everyone experiences this to some degree or another.  Keeping in mind these three things, however, really helps me keep things in perspective:

=> There is no greater illusion than the ideal of Perfection promoted within our society.

=> Our essence (the real value of our being) is unchanged by such impermanent circumstances and comes from a deeper place.

=> This unique-Being-ness is our offering to each other and the world.

Sifting through the Madness

If I allowed myself to be dictated to by this modern-day-ego-illness then I wouldn’t get much done in the world or experience the joy of serving.  It would mean that one day I am an inspired, highly trained practitioner who understands the self-healing process from the inside-out, and the next day I am too flawed to engage another on topics related to wellness.  This is mental-madness.

Transcending the Ego’s Negative Self-Talk

When I become aware that I am being jerked around by the highs and lows of life and begin to self-sabotage by identifying with the low vibrational thoughts and beliefs that tell me that I am not enough, I stop and remind myself:  I am not my thoughts and my thoughts are not me.  My mental whims do not dictate who I am or what I am capable of doing.  I am unmoved by these things.

So, how does Dualistic Self-Worth Syndrome show up in your world?

This week when you notice that one minute you are a hero and the next minute you are at zero, stop and remind yourself—that you are neither.  You are more.