Lately I have been thinking about the topic of self-worth. The question that comes up for me is—am I worthy and able to do this work in the world even though I am flawed?
Self-sabotaging thoughts fly to the surface, ready to convince me that I need to be completely healed, totally satisfied with my physical image, and living a one-hundred-percent sustainable and natural life myself in order to be justified in helping others work toward the same.
But are these really the things that make up my value as a person, professional, healer, holistic educator and health coach?
How May I Serve?
Many things influence my perspective of how I am doing in the realms of health, wellness, appearance and lifestyle. My perception constantly fluctuates based on the day I am having, the way I am eating, how I am treating my body, the people I am hanging around with or how I am spending my precious time.
If I am working my tools—doing yoga, eating clean, practicing extreme self-care, getting my recycling out of the door, and surrounding myself with a community of like-minded people who appreciate and remind me of my gifts—I feel healthy, inspired, connected, and worthy of helping another claim these things for themselves.
On the contrary, during the course of a bad day when the very basics of daily life are a real challenge—I feel unworthy. My mind, filled with images of modern-day-twenty-first-century delusions of perfection, tells me that I am not enough and that I cannot possibly function in the world as an effective guide for others.
Is this true? Or is this what happens when I am ungrounded, allowing my thoughts and feelings to bounce me around from moment to moment and day to day?
Dualistic Self-Worth Syndrome
Maybe you suffer from dualistic self-worth syndrome too? Fluctuating between an inflated sense of self and a deflated sense of self based on the circumstances of your life. Are you good enough if you are making it to the gym every day and dropping digits on the scale, and not enough if you ate carbs yesterday?
Due to the overwhelming pressure on all of us to be “perfect” today—nearly everyone experiences this to some degree or another. Keeping in mind these three things, however, really helps me keep things in perspective:
=> There is no greater illusion than the ideal of Perfection promoted within our society.
=> Our essence (the real value of our being) is unchanged by such impermanent circumstances and comes from a deeper place.
=> This unique-Being-ness is our offering to each other and the world.
Sifting through the Madness
If I allowed myself to be dictated to by this modern-day-ego-illness then I wouldn’t get much done in the world or experience the joy of serving. It would mean that one day I am an inspired, highly trained practitioner who understands the self-healing process from the inside-out, and the next day I am too flawed to engage another on topics related to wellness. This is mental-madness.
Transcending the Ego’s Negative Self-Talk
When I become aware that I am being jerked around by the highs and lows of life and begin to self-sabotage by identifying with the low vibrational thoughts and beliefs that tell me that I am not enough, I stop and remind myself: I am not my thoughts and my thoughts are not me. My mental whims do not dictate who I am or what I am capable of doing. I am unmoved by these things.
So, how does Dualistic Self-Worth Syndrome show up in your world?
This week when you notice that one minute you are a hero and the next minute you are at zero, stop and remind yourself—that you are neither. You are more.